Anna Rahma Usman Sarip
I arose from my sleep feeling the morning heat of the sun on my face. With all the things that kept me up last night, maybe I forgot to close my window. I do not feel like going out of my bed, unsure of what will happen to me now. It finally came, the day I was dreading to come. What my parents had said to me last month made me feel like they dropped a bomb on me. I never thought that they would come to this decision. A decision they did not even bother to ask me or hear my two cents about it. This was to be expected, but I never knew it could be this early. I understand that this thing happens way, way back, and is a part of our tradition. What makes me sad is that I do not want this to happen this early. I still want to do a lot of things and achieve more, I want to travel and accomplish things that I want before I enter that world.
I was waking up from my thoughts when I heard a knock on my door. “Rima, it’s time to wake up. You must get ready too.” My momma said.
“I’m awake,” I replied. “It’s not long before they arrive, I want you ready before that.” “Okay, Ma.” I said, staring into the pair of earrings sitting on my study table.
Today will be my wedding day. A month ago, when my parents told me how they wanted me to marry this guy. They told and promised me how this guy was perfect for me and how good he was as a person and said that we’d get along well. I was yet unmoving from where I was standing, not believing what they said. It won’t register in my mind. It was when my momma went near me and held my face that I knew I was crying. I guess my momma resonates with me, “Do not cry, Rima. We’re doing this for your own good.” “B-but this is not what I want…” It was then my father who told me that his decision would not change. I knew what to do than to break whatever my father wanted as he and his words ruled the house.
The following week after my parents talked to me, they then arranged a meeting for me and the man I was supposed to be wedded to. My momma told me that it’s a way for us to get acquainted with each other. I didn’t have the heart to say no. I did what they wanted me to do.
I went to meet the man at a mall, where we were supposed to spend the rest of the day. I was told by my father that he already had my digits and that he’d message me. It was then when I was inside the vehicle on my way that I received a message that said, “It’s me, Jawad. I’m here waiting for you. Message me when you arrive.” I was mesmerized by the way he texts. “Okay, I’ll be there in a few,” I replied. Minutes after I arrived I texted him. He told me that he was waiting near the entrance. I was thinking why he didn’t wait for me inside, it made me a lot more anxious. It was not hard to recognize him as I already saw what he looked like when my momma showed me his picture before. He was there standing looking seriously intimidating, yet when he noticed me, his whole facade changed. He smiled at me; I was so close to turning my back because of how nervous I was. He walked towards me smiling so big, making me wonder if I looked funny in his eyes or what.
“Hi, Jawad.” He said, extending his hand, wanting to shake hands. “Rima.”. The deafening silence was so loud after that. I was startled when he asked me “Where do you want to go?” “You? Where should we go first?” I replied.
“Should we eat first before doing anything? I’m sure you must be hungry.” Jawad said.
“Sure.” I then replied.
After we sat down, he then proceeded to ask me basic questions, and I realized that this was his way of knowing me better. “I’m guessing you’re a college student now, right?” he asked. “Yeah, in my last year actually,” I replied. “Wow, then you must be very busy huh?” “Yes, I’ve been working on my final paper. After that, I’m done.” “Do you need help though? Maybe I could offer you some help?” he said. “Thank you, but I can carry. I’m close to finishing it. I don’t think that you know something about my paper knowing how different it is from what you finished.” “Even though, maybe I could do something to make it somehow easier for you.” He said laughing. I smiled and said, “I’ll let you know if there is.” The food arrived and we ate, he would say something from time to time and I did my best to reply and engage in the conversation with him. “What should we do after this?” I asked Jawad after we were done eating. “Do you want to watch a movie?” he replied. “That’s okay let’s go. Maybe an interesting movie is available.” I spoke.
The timing was great, the ticket for the new Avatar movie was available and we agreed to watch that. During the time we spent watching that movie, I had known him better. The way he laughed, what made him laugh, the things he liked and disliked, and the things he told me made me appreciate him. Made me think that he really wanted this to work out so maybe I’ll do the same also. Let’s leave the regrets to the future.
Before parting ways, he made me wait at the food court excusing himself. I waited, spending my time scrolling on my social media account to entertain myself. It wasn’t long before he arrived. With him is a paper bag from a famous jewelry store. “I hope you will accept what I bought for you,” Jawad said. “What is it?” I asked. “Earrings” he simply said. “Why would you give me earrings though?” I questioned. “No reason. I just felt like it.” He replied. “Aww, that’s so nice of you. Thank you for this. I appreciate it.” I smiled at him. “It’s no biggie.” he smiled back, handing me the paper bag. “If only I knew, I could have bought you something too.” I said to him which he replied by smiling and saying, “Maybe in the future, I’ll gladly accept it.”
We were walking out of the mall when he offered to take me home. I agreed. We were silent the whole duration of the ride. It was when we arrived at our house that he said something to me. “I am hoping you will want to continue this as much as I want it too.” What he said made me picture something very abrupt, an image of us and the family we’ll have. “Let’s see. I’ll see you soon.” I replied, smiling at him. He was a successful man; I do not understand how he wants to marry me who has yet to achieve something in life.
Everything was ready, with the help of both our parents. I decided to just hold a simple ceremony with only a few people invited to witness it. The place, decorated with a mixture of yellow and red, was the only thing that I involved myself with during the preparation for the wedding. Because for me, it somehow reminded me of the Sarimanok. How different our fate in life is, unlike the bird; I do not have the freedom to really decide for myself. Not that I did not want this to happen, but I am happy that I’m here, getting ready to marry the man whom I wish to spend the rest of my life with.
The people who would help me get ready arrived; everyone was so busy walking from here to there. The whole house was in an uproar. My cousins were flocking to the room where I was getting ready saying something my mind could not comprehend at that time. I was in turmoil, busy with my own emotions. I had made my decision days before. I wanted to give him a chance, maybe what my parents said was true. This is what’s best for me.
Wearing a dress with an intricate design that my momma helped me pick, with my veil in a turban style, I requested my veil to be styled that way because I wanted to wear the earrings Jawad gave me. I wanted him to see me wearing it as a sign that I also wanted this. That I am accepting him as he accepted me long before as his wife-to-be.
I was sitting on my bed, with my girl cousins with me waiting for Jawad to knock on the door. I couldn’t exactly describe how I felt; sure, I was happy, but at the same time I felt anxious, but the feeling of excitement was through the roof. Everyone was talking when suddenly, we heard a knock. Him, entering with his entourage wearing a simple yet formal-looking white coat and his white dress shirt and slacks, oh if only you could see what I am seeing. I guess it’s time. We did the rites successfully, and now we’re walking through the middle aisle. “You’re wearing the earrings,” Jawad whispered. “Yeah,” I said. “Are you happy?” I asked him. “Yeah, over the moon.” He replied. “I’m glad, I’m happy too,” I said looking at him, smiling so wide.
Looking back to a month ago, I was so unsure of how things would unfold. Thankfully, things unfolded well. I’m here with him, spending our days happily with each other. We promised that we’ll make everything work, that we’ll talk things out. We won’t sleep with a misunderstanding left unresolved. I am happy with how my relationship with him is progressing and I hope he feels the same. I cannot wait to see how things will unfold in the future too. I guess we will leave those things to the Almighty above.