Kappar Hapit

Nathara Mugong

People moved slowly around the deck, their faces half-hidden behind cloth or the bend of their arms. Some sat with their luggage clutched between their knees, others leaned against the rails, watching the water slip by. The hum of the engine filled the pauses between voices, low and steady, almost like breathing. Children dozed against their mothers’ sides, and the air carried the faint murmur of prayer, the soft rhythm of waiting. Vendors wove between the passengers, shouting “Bonamine! Bonamine!” a medicine for travel sickness, their calls cutting through the salt and smoke and mixing with the cries of distant seabirds. Everything smelled of salt and smoke and longing, a scent familiar to anyone who had ever left home by sea.

I remembered that same smell from years ago, when the world felt larger and every crossing endless. Back then, each island on the horizon seemed like a promise, every voyage a small beginning. Now the scent reminded me only of what time had carried away: faces that faded at each port, words that never reached their shore. Still, the sea kept moving, steady and indifferent, as if memory itself were part of its tide.

We were bound for Sambuwangan, but the direct routes were already fully booked, forcing us onto the Kappar Hapit-Hapit—a ship hopping from island to island: Tawi-Tawi, Siasi, Jolo, and finally, the city. It felt less like a vacation and more like a breathless passage through the shifting waters of the Sulu Sea.

I was small enough that the crowd rose around me like a forest of legs, the engine rumbling in my head without pause. But my world was safe, enclosed by the strong presence of Inah and Mmah. This was the miracle: the three of us, together, making the same impossible journey. It had never happened before, and in my heart, I knew it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

We would often reach a new place as the dark lifted. We saw the islands not under the harsh glare of noon, but in the soft, first light of dawn. The stops always felt like quiet arrivals, the sky bleeding gold over the unfamiliar docks.

But the anxiety always came with the morning. With a sudden thud and the rasp of ropes, the ship came to rest against the dock. That was the maghapit-hapit—the brief, uneasy stop that every traveler on these routes knew too well.

“Palobbos kitabi,” Inah said, her voice a low rumble above the chaos.

Stepping onto the temporary docks of Siasi and Jolo was like entering unknown territory. The instant we left the ship’s railing, a cold, tight knot of panic settled beneath my ribs.

The dock was a whirl of strangers, cargo, and shouting.

What if the ship leaves while I turn my head?

What if it pulls away?

What if the crowd swallows me whole and the anchor rises, cutting the one tie we had to safety?

My eyes were glued to the kappar. It was the only constant I recognized. I checked it, then I checked Mmah.

I didn’t just hold his hand, I locked my small fingers around his wrist. “Mmah, don’t let it go. Don’t let me get lost.” I whispered.

He stopped right there, on the strange soil of a place that felt both alive and watching. He didn’t hurry me or laugh. He simply turned.

“Daa kow talow,” he said gently. “Look at the ship. It is still here. Look at Inah. She is still here. And I am right here. I will not let you go.”

He didn’t rush the moment. He waited until the knot in my chest loosened, until the scent of the sea breeze and the noise of strange voices became mere background hum again.

In Jolo, we passed rows of small stalls. The pier buzzed with vendors calling out their wares—grilled fish, rice, and bulawan that caught Inah’s gaze. She bought a chicken barbecue wrapped in plastic, and we ate it later, somewhere between islands.

On the tricycle ride through town, the streets were nearly empty, the morning washed in gray. The buildings looked tired, the air still. Inah told me stories of her student days, how they would cross the jambatan to fetch letters and allowance, how Jolo once felt alive with voices she could still name.

We stopped by one of her old friend’s house, though no one she knew remained. Still, the family there welcomed us in. They let us bathe, offered food, and for a while, it felt like we belonged. Inah then told me it was brave of her to bring me here, to a place where we no longer knew anyone. But we were safe, and that was enough. She looked around and whispered how much Jolo had changed since her last visit.

In Siasi, a familiar boy appeared at the port, guiding us through the small market that welcomed our arrival. From there, we made our way to my uncle’s house. It was a simple place of bamboo and warmth. I still remember the smell of pandisal, manggis, and buwahan laid out in abundance, as if the place itself was offering us rest.

Jolo and Siasi were so different, it was almost unreal that we had been there at all. We climbed back onto the kappar just as the final whistle pierced the air, and the sea carried us onward.

By the time we reached Sambuwangan, the noise that once clawed at the ears had softened into release—arrival, at last, sounding like peace.

But the real treasure wasn’t the destination. It was the knowledge that for that singular, anxious, beautiful voyage, every time I stepped off the boat, I knew, with absolute certainty, I would be led back.

And now, as time moves on and distances grow vast, I realize I succeeded in freezing that time. The fear of being left behind had dissolved, replaced by the stillness of memory: the three of us, together against the sea and the unfamiliar.

“Toot! Toot!” Then came the low, mournful call of a ship’s horn. It was no longer a final whistle, but a sound too real, too loud to be only memory.

My eyes snap open.

I am not on a ship deck. I am on a weathered wooden swing at Lantaka Hotel, the sea just beyond, and I am alone.

The Kappar Hapit-Hapit was never a ship. It was never a real journey; only a dream I kept afloat.

It was the beautiful, frantic chain of islands I had built in my mind, a looping memory I clung to, endlessly recreating that voyage. I kept reliving it because the truth is too heavy to bear: I am the one lost at sea, still waiting to be led back.

The Kappar Hapit-Hapit was just the imaginary way home.

Omar

Najhanne Buat Asum 

“Omar!”

“Omar!”

The muffled shouts of my name pulled me from my earphones. I glanced out the window to see my older sister, Kaka Jam, calling for me.

“Go fishing with Abi,” she yelled, pointing towards the lake where Abi was busy preparing the bangca under the scorching sun.

“But I’m doing something!” I yelled back, about to plug in my earphones, when I saw her throw down the basket she was holding.

“What’s wrong with you? You never go out to the lake anymore!”

I ignored her. What does she mean, what’s wrong with me? I guess I’ve just grown. I’m no longer interested in going to the lake to catch fish with Abi like I used to when I was a kid. Now, I’m chasing something bigger, something better than the fish in the lake. I want to become a well-known actor in Manila.

An hour later, I paused the video when a notification popped up at the top of my screen. I lifted myself from the bed and hurriedly checked it. Hunched forward, shoulders tight, I held my breath. I hoped.

And just like that, I knew I was one step closer to my dream. My online audition for Starbust Entertainment had been accepted, and I was going to be one of the supporting actors for a new movie. I nodded with certainty, whispering to myself, “Manila, here comes Eli.” I smiled proudly at the thought of finally using the stage name I had created years ago.

With courage, I went out of my room. I prepared with all my might, rehearsing in my head how I would tell Kaka and Abi the news.

As-salamu alaykum!” I jumped out of my seat when I heard Kaka Jam.

Wa alaikumu salam! Kaka!” I greeted her excitedly as I guided her to her seat.

She looked at me with eyebrows drawn together, confusion and annoyance clear on her face. “What has gotten into you lately? What is this all about?”

When she was finally seated, I told her about the news.

“Manila!? You are leaving Balindong?” she exclaimed. I had seen it coming, though.

“Kaka, come on,” I pleaded. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! You know how much I dreamed of this, you know how much I wanted this.”

“No. Absolutely not, Omar!” she said with finality.

“But Kaka, you know this is not just about leaving,” I persisted. “It’s chasing my dream! It’s a whole different thing!”

“Leaving is the bottom line here! You are leaving Balindong for Manila!”

I fell silent. I know all this fuss wasn’t because she refused to support me. It was because she was afraid. Afraid that once I left, I would turn my back on them completely and let Manila swallow me whole. My constant plans to move, the dreams I spoke of again and again, and the countless times she caught me searching for places to stay in the city… all of it must have fueled her fear.

Just then, the sound of the front door opening sliced through the heavy silence. It was Abi.

“What’s all the commotion?” he asked, confusion in his voice as he dropped the basket he was holding.

Kaka wasted no time explaining the situation, even exaggerating my desire to abandon everything. I watched Abi nervously, waiting for his verdict. He stood still, eyes fixed on me, studying my face for a long moment. His expression was unreadable, contemplative.

Finally, he spoke.

“Let him go, Jam.”

My jaw dropped. Kaka’s face contorted with disappointment, but she remained silent when she noticed Abi’s seriousness.

“Thank you, Abi!” I exclaimed.

Kaka ignored me the rest of the day. Abi, on the other hand, even helped me with packing. That night, I could barely sleep out of excitement.

The next morning, I practically bounced out of bed. I nearly inhaled my meal, unable to wait to arrive in Manila, where my dreams awaited. An hour later, Abi told me the van had arrived.

When I got to the van after sharing a few words and a hug with Abi, I couldn’t help but look forward to what awaited me. I still couldn’t believe all of this was happening.

I looked out the window as the beautiful Lake Lanao receded into the distance. That’s when I felt a pang of sadness tug at my heart, still hurting at the thought of leaving home, Abi, and Kaka Jam. However, the image of myself acting alongside other actors quickly distracted me and pushed those emotions aside. I shook my head. For now, I should focus on my acting career, on becoming the actor I dreamed of.

Finally landing in Manila, I couldn’t hide my happiness. Now that I had arrived, I had to work my way toward becoming a successful actor.

And I did. Ten months in, the movie I acted in became a major hit, receiving high ratings. I also gained recognition—my Instagram account soared to 300k followers, and offers came from every direction. The movie was certainly the talk of the town.

I should be happy by now, though. I am where I have wanted to be.

But somehow, I never felt accomplished. Like something was constantly missing.

“Eli!”

“Eli!”

I only returned to reality when my manager, James, called me. I had been spacing out again. It wasn’t the first time I’d felt lost, adrift in a place I should have known by now, after ten months.

“Some supporters recognized you earlier. They were calling for you, but you didn’t respond. Are you okay? You’ve been like this lately.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”

I knew I had wanted Eli as my stage name, but somehow, lately, the name felt foreign. Hearing it spoken felt like hearing someone else’s name.

I excused myself and went to the bathroom, splashing water on my face in an attempt to wash away the confusion. As I dried my hands, a voice stopped me.

“Omar?”

That name. Just moments ago, I had felt lost, but now, hearing it, I suddenly felt found.

I turned around to see who it was. It was Hassan, a good friend from childhood and also my first cousin.

“Has—” I began, but my manager’s voice called from outside the bathroom.

“Eli! We’re leaving, just waiting for you!”

Disappointment flashed across Hassan’s face.

“Oh! Sorry, I thought you were someone I knew,” he said, starting to walk away.

I stopped him. “It’s me, Hassan! Omar!”

He hesitated, still unsure.

Saken aya, si Omar.” I added, full of hope that he would finally recognize me.

He smiled, finally recognizing me, and stepped forward for a hug. I felt an unexplainable joy, being seen for who I really was, being called Omar again, speaking my language.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Art exhibition,” he replied. “I painted Lake Lanao. It got accepted for an exhibition.” That explained the malong he was wearing.

“Do you have the time? Let’s go out!” I invited him eagerly.

And so, I excused myself from the team and went out with Hassan. We headed to a nearby coffee shop. At first, we just caught up. He shared about his exhibition, and I told him about my acting career, which he was only learning about now. For someone not into watching series, I understood his surprise.

Later, what started as a normal catching-up session turned into something deeper. I found myself telling him everything I had been feeling lately, about the emptiness, the feeling of being lost, even after reaching the place I had been dreaming of.

“You asked earlier if it’s wrong to chase the dream of acting. I don’t think it is. There’s nothing wrong with aiming to go further with your dreams—”

“Then, if it is not, why am I feeling like this? Why does it make me want to regret even coming here? It doesn’t make any sense.”

He sighed and gave me a reassuring smile. “You know, Omar, most people who feel lost are those who forget to stay rooted in where they come from.”

My brow furrowed. What is he trying to say?

“When was the last time you called home?”

And there, I understood him. I knew what he meant. I had been too busy in Manila to even  reach out. I couldn’t remember the last time I called, the last time we shared a conversation. By now, I was afraid and in denial. I didn’t want to admit to myself that maybe Kaka Jam had been right from the beginning, that I had made her fear come true, leaving them entirely as I fully embraced my dream.

“Omar, there’s nothing wrong with going far, with exploring the world. Just stay rooted all the time. That way, you won’t get lost. You can reach for the furthest star, but if you forget where you came from, you’d simply be like a bird simply flying around aimlessly.”

My head kept replaying his words, filled with memories of home and the life of Omar.

The conversation I had with Hassan made me decide to go back home for a while. I knew I had to find myself again, and I could only do that in the place that gave me the identity of who I truly was—Omar, a Meranaw.

When I arrived at our place, I saw the lake from the van’s window. I felt the familiar warmth of home. I recalled what Hassan had told me about how the lake gave us the identity of being Meranaw. Seeing it once again made me feel truly back, not only in Balindong, but also in myself.

As we finally arrived at our place, Abi and Kaka awaited me. Reaching them, Kaka greeted me with a playful smack on the forearm.

“So you still remember your way back here, huh?” she smiled. I replied with a teasing grin.

I looked at Ama, who was smiling. I remembered how he had allowed me to go to Manila so easily, how he had set me out to chase my dream, and now here he was, watching me return with a greater love for my culture and home. Maybe he knew how to make me come back.

“We missed you, son. We’re glad you’re back.”

“I’m glad I’m back, too, Abi.”

Ligo

Norsalim Haron

Nangalimud silan ku padsudan nu walay ningka
Bagagayan ku bangko ku kasangulan nu malendo a lamisan
Pegkapi, pegkan sa pan, pedsebung
Belabiten nilan su langon’u kapiyanan ningka
Ugayd seka anya a bagiga ku manaot a katre
Bangalingkakep ko liliw nu ikam
Sa mana ka bon pedtindeg sa sambayang
Nalibet kana masla palanggana
A napenu na matenggaw a ig
A ibeligo salka
Mana bon kanu timpo a bago ka ginemaw
Ku kapebpaigo ni ina nengka salka
Uman ka gawasa na ig na belesik ka bagulyang
Ugayd saguna uman ka pembubuwan
Na pakauliyang su mga suled-pagali nengka
Kagina niya den ba su mawli a kabpaigo nilan salka

Bath

They gathered in the yard of your house
Sitting on a bench in front of a long table
Drinking coffee, eating salt bread, chatting.
They recount all your good deeds
Yet you lie there on a small bed
Wrapped by the surface of a mat
As if you are standing in prayer.
You are surrounded by huge basins
Filled with cold water
For your bath.
Much like when you were just born
When your mother bathes you
Each splash of water pushes you to cry more.
But now, every pour
Makes your relatives cry
Because this is the last time they will bath you.

Translated by Nurmina Abdul

The golden memory of piaparan

Jamil E. Mabandis

The very first thing that I can remember is the smell. It was a smell that lingered in the air like a hymn, blending itself within the morning light that filtered through the slats of wood that made up our kitchen. It was pungent with sakurab, rich with ginger, and burning with chilies. My Inakulay stood before the stove, her back straight, her hands firm. She moved with a poise I could never detect, as though every step was practiced by generations. Her hands carried the weight of tradition, and I, hungry-eyed boy, knew that I was about to see something that was not only food but memory itself.

She was cooking manok a piaparan. To describe it merely as chicken in coconut milk would be simplistic. Piaparan was chicken and yet more. It was the flavor of sea and land, the aroma of hills and woods, the shadow of voices long past but not forgotten. My Inakulay referred to it as “pegk’n sa pakaragyan.” Food in celebrations. But in her hands, it was also the food of remembrance.

I saw her start with the palapa. She ground the sakurab, ginger, and chilies in her mortar, the pestle cracking to the beat of a heartbeat. The air reeked with its raw smell. My eyes watered but I did not blink. She glanced at me once and smiled, curling the edge of her lips, as if to tell me, this is how fire turns to flavor. The palapa was always the starting point, always the catalyst that would bring life to the piaparan.

Now came the chicken, chopped in neat slices, sliding into the pot where the palapa crackled in oil. She poured the coconut milk, thick and white, a river that translated the sound of fire into the song of simmer. Gradually, the turmeric colored the broth with its hue, turning the milk into a sea of gold. The kitchen was converted to a color as if sunlight had been trapped in her pot. The piaparan was becoming gold, and I imagined sultans, crowns and torogans, although we were merely in a little wooden home. My grandmother was silent, but I was certain that the color of something spoke beyond its loveliness. It was royalty, not of crowns, but of lineage.

She picked the chicken pieces out of the broth, their skin drenched in golden colors. She then reached for the grated coconut. She browned it slowly, stirring with a wooden spoon, until the shreds became crisp and brown, their sweetness rising to greet the savory aroma of the broth. This was the papar, the last gem in the crown of piaparan. The roasted coconut stuck to the chicken like a second skin, richer, deeper, and alive with the scent of the fire.

I sat quietly, the boy that I was, not wanting to talk in case I broke the moment. Every noise counted. The crack of the coconut. The quiet bubbling of the soup. The scrape of her spoon on the pan. Even the movement of her breath sounded as though it was part of the recipe. She was cooking more than that. She was infusing memory into food, teaching me through unspoken words that land and people survive through the food they leave behind.

As she placed the complete piaparan on the table, the dish radiated. Golden, smelling, alive. The aroma filled the entire house, and I swear even the trees outside leaned in to smell it. The initial bite was an explosion, a flame ignited on the tongue that burned through into the soul. The palapa imparted to it a heat that was cutting but not brutal. Coconut milk mellowed the burn, covering it in sweetness. The turmeric had the taste of earth and the roasted coconut brought a depth like the voice of the elder speaking in a tale. It was a flavor that was not just good but truthful. It was flavored with our land, our rivers, our sun. It was flavored with home.

I sat with my Inakulay eating slowly, her eyes still and filled with memory. She rarely said much about the old times, but I knew that with each spoonful she was sampling her own mother’s kitchen, her own childhood, her own heritage. And there I sat, opposite her, sampling the same dish, feeling the same golden heat on my tongue, and wordlessly I understood we were tied by more than blood. We were tied by piaparan.

Days have gone by and the kitchen is not the same without her. The mortar remains, the wooden spoon still in its corner, but the hands that gave them life are no more. I have attempted to make piaparan myself, but my hands do not know their way with the same sureness. I fear that I will never succeed. Every time I attempt, I fear that I am pursuing something too holy to be grasped. But there are times, when the coconut milk turns golden and the roasted coconut lets out its smoke, that I sense her beside me. And I know that piaparan is not perfection. It is memory, keeping alive the strand that binds me to her, to my folk, to the land that nurtured us.

The golden piaparan, the color of royalty, is more than food on a plate. It is our table’s crown, our kitchens’ treasure, the wordless story we tell. To me, it is the recollection of a boy observing his grandmother stir coconut into a dish that lived longer than she did. It is the reminder that although she is gone, her taste still lingers, her memory bubbling over in every pot of piaparan I have the courage to prepare.

And so when I think of her, I think not only of her face, her voice, her hands, but also of the golden dish that shone like sunlight on our little kitchen. It is not just chicken. It is not just a meal. It is manok a piaparan, golden memory, royalty of our plate. It is my Ina Kulay’s gift, and it will be remembered as long as I keep eating it, as long as I keep recalling that the golden piaparan is not merely a dish. but the flavor of home itself.

Moro: An Autocritique

Noor Saada

Moro is success. These days, the term “Moro” is a badge of honor especially for those who are in sync with the government of the day in the autonomous region, manifested in a line in the region’s hymn, “Bangsamoro’y tagumpay” (The Bangsamoro is success). It stands for a history of resistance and pride.

Yet for others, this very term raises hard questions about belonging, who speaks, and being spoken for. Though often associated with the 13 historically-identified Muslim ethnolinguistic groups in Mindanao, Sulu, and Palawan, the Moro identity extends beyond ethnicity, religion, and political boundaries to become an imagined landscape shaped by colonization, cultural translation, and the ongoing quest for self-determination.

Colonial Birth. The term was first used in the Philippine context by Miguel Lopez de Legazpi, the Spanish conquistador, who arrived in the archipelago in the 16th century. Borrowing the term from Spain’s centuries-long struggle against the Moors of North Africa and Andalusia, Legazpi and the Spanish colonizers used Moro to label the largely coastal and insular Muslim inhabitants of the Philippine islands, particularly in Mindanao, Sulu and Palawan.

The term was used to mark not just religious difference but political defiance. These Muslims were different from the “heathen highlanders” and the “docile Indios” of the Christianized North. Unlike the highland Lumad or Igorot groups who lived outside the reach of the colonial church-state apparatus, the Moros had their own centralized sultanates, maritime networks, and transregional Islamic identities that connected them to the Nusantara (Malay world), and the Islamic ummah (global community).

In this way, the term began as an exonym, a name imposed by the colonizer to define the enemy. Over time, however, especially in the regime of minoritization, it was reappropriated by the colonized indigenous population as a symbol of resistance and constructed nationhood (bangsa).

Inclusion – Who are in. The post-colonial reassertion of Moro identity centered around the so-called “13 ethnolinguistic groups”: Badjao, Iranun, Jama Mapun, Kagan, Kolibugan, Maguindanaon, Meranaw, Molbog, Panimusan, Sama, Sangil, Tausug, and Yakan. These groups share not only a common Islamic faith but also a history of resisting colonization, firstly against the Spanish, then the Americans and Japanese, and finally the post-independence Philippine nation-state.

While useful in political and legal frameworks such as the peace processes and the creation of the regional autonomies, it also risks essentializing a complex and dynamic set of identities. It leaves out many others who share the same historical geography, religious beliefs, or cultural ties, but who do not fall neatly within the 13 ethnic identities.

Exclusion – Who Gets Left Out. What of the Teduray, Lambangian, and Dulangan Manobo, among others, who are indigenous to Mindanao but are not Muslim? They live within the Bangsamoro Autonomous Region, yet their ancestral claims and cultural lifeways often remain peripheral in the dominant political discourse?

What of the Sama Dilaut (Badjao), seafaring, stateless, and often discriminated against, even by their land-based fellows?

What of the Jama Mapun and Molbog of Palawan, whose connection to Islam is deep yet whose marginality continues?

What of the mestizos, those born of Moro and Christian Filipino parents, or those who have embraced Islam through marriage or conversion?

What of Muslim reverts, Filipinos from Luzon or the Visayas, or even foreigners, who embraced the Islamic faith and chose to live among Muslim communities in Mindanao?

What about the descendants of the Lannang (Chinese), Arab, and similar Southeast and South Asian identities living in our midst?

Does a Moro identity requires bloodline? Land? Language? Or merely faith?

Blood, Faith, or Belonging. If being Moro is about blood, then we risk creating an exclusionary ethnonationalism that denies the hybridity and migration that have long characterized Mindanao, Sulu and Palawan.

If it is about faith, then we must ask: is every Muslim in the Philippines a Moro? Are Mindanawon converts or urban Muslims in Manila part of this imagined community?

If it is about lived cultural experience, then being Moro must include those who speak the language, participate in rituals, honor the maratabat (dignity), respect the adat (customary law), and uphold the collective memory of struggle.

If it is political, then the term becomes not just a cultural label, but a revolutionary one, an assertion of a historical grievance and a demand for justice, recognition, and self-rule. But what happens when the politics falter, when unity frays, or when governance fails to live up to the ideals?

How about those who assert the primacy of their ethnicity: they are Bangsa Sug, Bangsa Sama or Bangsa Iranun over and above their Moro-ness? Are they less of a Moro?

Reimagination.  An inclusive identity must reckon with these tensions. It must honor its history of resistance, but also evolve to reflect the pluralism within its region. The legacy of Legazpi’s colonial label must be undone not merely by inversion, that is, wearing it as a badge of honor; but also, by transforming it into an inclusive identity of justice, dignity, and cultural integrity.

To be Moro is not only to descend from gagandilan (warriors), membership in the revolutionary group or speak a native tongue, but to be part of a living history, of a people shaped by the ecology and the collective struggle, by the Quran and the kulintang, by adat and amanah (trust), by memory and movement.

Moro is a name we have adapted and reshaped to suit and define our collective struggle and quest for self-determination. It is an identity not just exonymically acquired, but lived, chosen, and contested. It is not a category closed by blood or birth, but an unfolding story of a people still becoming and coalescing.