Sharmida M. Mawan
Aku hi Alidjan. Adlaw ini myabut in ummul ku kawhaan’. Alhamdulillah myabut aku ha adlaw ini, bang ku pagtumtumun in mga adlaw piyaglabayan namuh maglanyap tuud in jantung ku, pasal in mga liyabayan amura kuman in panumtuman ta sin waktu awal jaman.
Byaun yari aku limilingkud ha duhul sin jambatan kahuy. Imaatud ha suga limilid daing ha duhul sin dagat. Ha hulah ini aku limaggu, ha hulah ini kami piyag-anak katan magtaymanghud. Ha Maimbung, bang hain nagtagnah in katan.
Lima kami mag-ahli’. Hi Amah ku in ngan hi Jul-asiri, in kyabulatan ku kanya in siya magiistah. Hi Inah ku isab in ngan nya hi Satra, in hinang nya isab magtabid lubid ha bay. Awn aku duwa manghud, hi Alimar iban hi Almansar. Usug kami katan magtaymanghud.
Limagguh kami ha sigpit. Hayyy. Bang ku hikapagkissah in katan sin lyabayan namuh mag-ahli’ bang kita timagna sin Muharram matalus kita sin Dhul-Hijja. Sah awn hambuuk kissa namuh mag-ahli’ mayah ku tuud hi lilay kanyu. Amun kissa hi amah iban bangka-bangka nya.
In bay namuh sin waktu yadtu ha lawm dagat sah masuuk da sab pa higad, hinang ha kahuy iban patung, timitindug ha lawm dagat, awn manahut kusina, in lawm bay amuna in pagtutugan namuh, iban pantan amuna in paghahalihan iban pagtatahayan hi Inah istah.
Hambuuk mahapun kita ku hi Inah namamanduga ha pantan namuh imaatud pa malayuh. In pangilahan ku bang byaini na in pangatud hi inah, awn na sab problema namuh. Ha waktu ini maraiyh Unum tahun pa aku. Pagka bihadtu hi Inah, pyakusina aku. Pagkitah ku hangkapansing dakuman in bugas ha baldi-baldi iban wayruun na mussak massik ha kusina. Hangkanda sab hatiku hi Inah nasusa. Gimuwa na aku.
Mga lisag upat na sin mahapun. Pagguwa ku, yaun na hatih hi Amah ha pantan, nagbibissara kan Inah. Nanaynghug aku sin piyagbibissarahan nila.
“Dang, wayruun da kiyabayaran in istah diya ku kahapun, wayruun pa kunuh masi nakauwih in tagdapu sin buriga” lawng hi Amah.
“Sah ayaw na ba kaw masusa, pa-lawd na aku bat da aku makasuruy, hatih makapanabuh kita” lawng pa hi Amah.
Simambung sab hi Inah, “Ayaw na ba Dang, atud ba kaw sin dagat yan byah mahangin hangin, pagkwan maalun ha lawd”
“Alla Dang, ayaw na ba kaw magsusa, dih man aku magpalawm dum. Madtu na aku ha? Ayaw mu man patuga in mga anak ta dih makaun. Tagari nyu aku” Ampa nanaug hi Amah, nagtuud sin bangka-bangka nya manahut pa dagat, masi masi ra siya iyaatud hi Inah.
Myabut mayan in Maghrib, way naman masi nakauwih hi Amah. Pag-ubus simambahayang hi Inah, limingkud na siya ha pagtatabiran nya lubid. In pagtabid hi Inah lubid magtipun siya karut ampa husayun, pagubus tabirun hinangun lubid, bang humaba na hidagang nya na pa tabuh. Amu sab ini in usaha hi Inah.
“Byah lyugayan hi Amah nyu yan. Kari kaw kunuh Alidjan, hugasi na in mga manghud mu bat yari pa aku naghihinang” Tiyawag aku hi Inah sahbu aku nagbubuhi tanju bat da awn ilaw ha pantan namuh.
Timindug na aku ampa ku kiyawah in mga maghud ku, hiyugasan ku na karuwa ampa giyantian tamungun. Simung man in jam, myabut na in waktu Isha. Timindug na hi Inah ha hinang nya ampa siya nagsambahayang.
Way hijjul hi inah daing sin dyuman na hi Amah ha lawd. Kaingatan ku nasusa hi Inah bat bang hi Amah magiyan dih siya maglugay, dih tuud siya magpalugay.
Pagubus naman hi Inah nagsambahayang, pya-kusina na siya nagbuhih kayu. Ampa niya mistang in hangkapansing bugas nakakapin ha baldi-baldi. Masi ra way hijjul hi Inah. In aku isab iipat ku in mga manghud ku.
Mga lisag walu na sin dum, byutangan na kami hi Inah. Tu’ lay mistang iyaasinan. Kiyawah hi Inah in kamanghuran namuh ampa syungitan. Aku isab in nagpakaun ha manghud ku hambuuk, kimaun da sab aku sibuh. Masih ra way naka-uwi hi Amah.
Pag-ubus namuh kimaun. hiyanigan na hi Inah sin baluy in lawm bay. Masih ra way nakakauwih hi Amah daing ha lawd. Piyatug na hi Inah in duwa manghud ku. Bisan aku patugun na hi Inah sah lawng ku ibanan ku naa siya magtagad kan Amah.
Lingkuran balik hi Inah in lubid nya, ampa siya nagtabid sah way limugay mga tunga’ jam. Timindug siya ampa dya in tanju’ pa pantan ampa limingkud ha duhul sin pantan, biyababa in siki.
“Hawnu na baha hi Amah mu ini Alidjan. Lisag hangpu’ na sin dum way naman masi naka-uwi” Lawng hi Inah sin limingkud aku ha daig niya. In dagat imalun-alun na daing sin kaina. In hangin magdagpak pa bay namuh byah sin paglubakun in bay.
Wayruun aku nakasambung kan Inah bat biyah in liug ku nalapat sin buhangin tibuuk.
Hangkaraiyh pa awn na timuh ha babaw uh ku. Nagbubunuk na, pagubus kimusug na in ulan. Simud na kami kan Inah bat landuh tuud in kusug sin ulan, sah hi Inah limingkud da ha lawang namuh harap pa pantan. Iyatud ku hi Inah. In luha niya nagtagna na timuh.
Way aku mahinang bang bukun umatud kan Inah. Makusug in ulan, mabasag in alun. Hi Amah masih ha lawd isa-isa. Subay yadtu ibanan ku hi Amah, lawng sin utuk ku nagbibissara isa isa.
Pagatud ku sin lilus namuh ha uhan, lisag hambuuk na sin tungah dum. Hi inah masih naglilingkud ha lawang pantan, in ulan masi makusug. In tanjuh namuh napung na bat naubus na in gas.
Sah bisan haluk na in mga manghud ku, wayruun panayu sin kasusahan namuh kan Inah, masih aku dih makatug sin susa kan Amah iban ulung kan Inah.
“Ya Allah, lappasi tuud in bana ku ha unu-unu aramala. Ya Rabbi, tabanga tuud aku” Dyungug ku hi Inah nagduduwaa. Amu-amura yan in iyaamutan nya daing kaina.
Mga lisag duwa-tungah. Kimuh na in ulan, bunuk bunuk dakuman. Pag-atud ku kan Inah, nakatug naglilingkud sin hapus ha pagtangisan hatiku. In aku isab naglilingkud da ha raig sin mga manghud ku natutug.
Pag-atud ku kan Inah, nakajungkat sin awn nagtawag kanya.
“Dang! Dang! Ukabi ba aku. Batih pa ka kamu?” HI AMAH NAKAUWIH NA!!
Nakatuhlid in tindug hi Inah ampa us-us pyu-as in lawang namuh. Gyulgul niya hi Amah, in luhah nya masi timutuh.
“Alhamdulillah, nakauwih kaw!” Lawng hi Inah. Pagatud ku kan amah, basah-basaan in tamungun, na lihdup in baran nya sin tubig.
“Ayaw na ba kaw magsusa Dang, nakauwih na aku” Pagatud ku kan Inah, nakanapas na sya maraw.
Nanghaplas na hi Amah, hi Inah nagpasuh tubig bat da makainum hi Amah kahawa.
In aku kimulang na bat da sila karihilan waktu karuwa, sah masi aku wayruun natug. Nangdurungug dungug aku sin suwara nila karuwa.
“Maytah kaw Dang apit na adlawan? Nasusa tuud aku kaymu.” Lawng hi Inah sin limingkud na siya, diyara in kahawa hi Amah.
“Amuna sadtu Dang, awn aku pyagbak tau ha lawd” tagna hi Amah ha bissara niya. “Sin imalun-alun na, wayruun aku masi nakasasaggaw istah, lawng ku muwih na aku. Sakali awn aku kitah batah-batah babai ha lawd, simasagnat ha patung patung. Siyuuk ku magtuy bisan maalun. Pag-atud ku masi buhih in batah-batah babai, tiyabang ku magtuy ampa piya-inum tubig maraw. Sakali in siya kunuh hiyulug ha bangka iyaagaran niya, magpahatud tuud kakuh pa puh ngyanan nya. In puh ngyanan nya yattu dih ku tuud kaingatan, sah lawng niya kaingatan niya ra byariin makaabut madtu. Bisan ma-alun Dang, imulung aku ha babai yadtu. Sah in makainu inu, byah dugaing dugaing in pais nya yadtu Dang.” Himigup hi Amah sin kahawa niya lubug, hi Inah masih dimurungug sin isturi hi Amah.
“Magkahagad kaw Dang, in pais sin babai, yadtu byah mussah kaagi. Putih ampa byah mag-inggat. In buhuk nya makainu-inu ra sab. Itum tuud. Sah sobra in haba. In kyainu-inuhan ku tuud kanya yadtu Dang. Pagsakat niya naman pa bangka, maytah biya timahay siya magtuy. In badju niya biya putih kakanah.” Sugpat hi Amah ha suwara niya.
“Sah bisan biyah kandi-kandi in babai yadtu, masih ku kyuwayan in bangka ha lawd. Siya in magbabaytah sin datungan namuh. Mga tunga’ jam na hatiku aku nagkuway sin bangka, awn na puh kitah ku. In puh yadtu Dang, manahut da. Sah bang ku aturun, mataud tau nagtitindug ha daig dagat. Landuh in sawa sin puh yadtu. Sibuh katan in panamung nila putih, hangkapaisan sila iban sin batah-batah babai hiyatud ku yadtu. Dimatung mayan kami pa higad dagat, piyanaug aku sin babai malaas, siya kunuh in Inah sin babai hiyatud ku. Byaytaan na siya sin anak nya sin hyulug siya sin mga iban nya ha bangka kaina, iban sin bahasa aku in nakaput iban timabang kanya. Simuuk kakuh Dang in Inah sin babai yadtu ampa syapu in daghal ku pagubus dih ku tuud kalupahan in iyan kakuh, lawng nya, “Katan sin sigpit mu puasun sin Tuhan, in lanuh sin atay mu byah sin lanuh sin barakat dumatung kaymu. Uwih na kaw pa anak asawa mu, ayaw kaw maglingih, Dumatung da kaw pa daratungan mu” Hi Inah masi dimurungug kan Amah.
“Nanaykud na aku Dang, ampa ku tyuud in bangka-bangka pa dagat. Hinang ku in iyagi kakuh sin babai yadtu, way aku limingih. Sah kiyananaman ku tuud, nalawah sila paggiik ku naman pa dagat, nalawah da sab katan sin ilaw ha puh, sah way tuud aku naglingih. Nalawah na in alun, iban himundung na in ulan. Pagsayu ku dimatung na aku mari pa bay, wayruun ku kiyaalimatahan” Pagtalus hi Amah ha kissa niya bang unu in jimatu kanya ha lawd.
Wayruun ku na kiyasayuhan bang unu naman in piyagbissarahan nila karuwa, bat nakatug na aku. In atay ku makuyag na.
Pag maynaat, kiyublaan aku byah awn hiluhala ha sawm bay. Pagtaynghug ku hi Amah nagtatawag kan Inah.
“Dang! Dang! Kasay ba kaw, kitaa ba bang unu in ha lawm sin bangka-bangka ku ini!” Ulak hi Amah kan Inah. Kitah ku hi Inah nagus-us myabah pa hagdan, hi amah ha lawm dagat na tubtub pa tuhud niya nagaatud ha bangka-bangka niya. In aku isab simisib ha utlang-utlang sin lantay namuh.
“Allahu Akbar! Dang, mussah sayan!” Sambag hi Inah. Pagatud ku pa bangka-bangka hi Amah, mattan twi sin nabud mussah. Nahipuh in bangka-bangka hi Amah sin mussah dugaing dugaing in warnah iban dugaing dugaing in lagguh. Wayruun panayuh ku amuna twi yadtu in maynaat gumantih sin kabuhih namuh mag-ahli. Barakat sin Allah labay daing ha atay putih.
In mga mussah yadtu in nagpabahgu ha dagan sin kabuhi namuh. Nakaiskul na aku ha Tiyanggi. Sampil mga manghud ku. Sampay na nakabi kami bay batu’ ha Tiyanggi. Hi Inah nakatabang na ha mga panaiban nya magtatabid lubid. Awn na sila tampat paghihinangan sapantun factory lawng sin Bahasa Anggalis. In bay namuh ha Maimbung napahugut na. Dih na kami pagkatahayan bugas iban mussak massik ha kusina, makakaun n in mga manghud ku maraw makatu’ hangka-adlaw. Iban in landuh mahalga ha katan, dih na mapugus hi Amah pa lawd mangistah bisan ma-alun iban mahangin. Awn na usaha hi Amah ha lupa bukun na hat ha dagat, masi usaha halal. Nakapahinang na hi Amah malalagguh bangka hipagpausal nya ha mga daig bay namuh tagna pagusahahan. In bangka-bangka hi Amah bukun na hat manahut, malagguh na. sah masi ra in bangka-bangka nya pyapakay sampil pabihaun.
Na! Amu yadtu in kissah kissah ku kanyu ha byaun sahbu aku kimakaun patulakan ha jambatan kahuy masuuk pa bay namuh dii ha Maimbung. Ikaw? Unu in kissa mu?
My Father’s Small Boat
I am Alidjan. Today, I turned 20. Alhamdulillah, I reached this day. Whenever I remember the days that we passed through, I feel like my heart wrenches, because experiences are the only remembrance of the older times.
Now I am sitting on the edge of a wooden port. Looking at the sun setting on the horizon. This is the place where I grew up, the place where all of me and my siblings were born and raised. In Maimbung, where everything started.
We are five in the family. My father, Jul-asiri, whom I have known since birth, is a fisherman. My mother, Satra, whose work is to make ropes out of old sacks which she does at home. And my two brothers, Alimar and Almansar.
We grew up in a tight situation. Hayyyy. If only I could tell you every story of what we went through as a family and started in January, we would probably finish in December. But there’s one story about my family I want to tell you. The story of my father and what happened to him and his small boat.
Our home at that time was built on the sea but near the docks. It was made of wood and bamboo, had a small kitchen, a living space that was where we also slept as a family, and a roofless space outside where my mom rested and hung dry fish.
One afternoon, I saw my mother sitting idly in the roofless space, looking afar. My observation is that every time my mother does this, it only means we have a problem. Around this time maybe I was six years old. Seeing my mother like that, I went to the kitchen. I saw that we only had one cup of rice left in the container and had no other groceries available. Right then, I realized what the problem was. I then went outside the kitchen.
It was maybe four in the afternoon. When I went outside, my father was already there with my mother, they were talking to each other. I eavesdropped on their conversation.
“Dang (their endearment), the fish I brought to the market yesterday is still not paid because the owner’s worker said he is still not back,” my father said.
“But don’t worry, I will go and fish so I can sell. After that we can go to the market,” my father added.
My mother answered, “Don’t go Dang, look at the sea, it’s windy. Maybe the waves are strong.”
“Dang, don’t worry about me, I won’t be long and late. I will go now, ok? Just don’t let our kids sleep without eating. Wait for me.” My father then went down, and pushed his small boat to the sea, while my mother was still looking at him going far.
When the time reached Maghrib, my father still did not come back. After my mother prayed, she sat where she twisted ropes. My mother gathered some old sacks and disassembled them and made a rope out of them, when it was long enough to sell, she brought it to the market. This is the job of my mother.
“You’re father seems to be taking too long. Alidjan, come here. Help me wash your brothers. I still need to finish this,” My mother called me while I was in the roofless space lighting up the torch.
I went and took my brothers and washed them both and changed their clothes. When hours passed, Eisha time came. My mother went and prayed her Eisha.
My mother has been silent ever since the night came and my father has still not come back. I know my mother is worried because if my father says he will not be late, he will not come home late no matter what.
Right after my mother finished her prayers, she went to the kitchen and lit up the fire. She cooked the remaining one cup of rice and made porridge, one that had no other ingredients but water. My mother was still silent while I was playing with my two little brothers.
8:00 at night came, my mother prepared the food. Three plates of porridge which she seasoned with salt. My mother took our youngest brother and fed him. I, on the other hand, fed my other brother while feeding myself. My father was still not home.
After we ate, my mother laid the sleeping mat where we slept. My father was still not home from the sea. My mother took my brothers to sleep. I was even told to sleep but I said I would be with her to wait for my father.
My mother then went back to twisting rope, however, not long enough she stood and brought the torch outside and went to the roofless space. She sat on the edge of the space, her feet hanging.
“I am wondering where your father might be, Alidjan. It is 10:00 already, he hasn’t still come back,” my mother said when I sat beside her. The sea waves were getting stronger than earlier. The wind was hitting the house like it was scolding it.
I was not able to answer my mother because it felt like my throat was blocked by lumps of sand.
Not long after, I felt something dripping on my head. The rain started to pour hard. I looked at my mother. Tears started to fall from her eyes.
I couldn’t do anything but look at my mother. It was raining cats and dogs, and the waves below were strong. My father is still at sea alone. I should’ve gone with my father, my brain said, talking to itself.
When I looked at our clock, it was already 1 am. My mother was still sitting by the door, the rain was still pouring hard. The torch died because it already run out of gas.
But even when my brothers were sleeping soundly unaware of my mother’s and my worries, I still couldn’t sleep worrying about my father, and pitying my mother.
“Ya Allah, please save my husband from any harm. Ya Rabbi, help me please,” I heard my mother praying. She kept on repeating the same words.
2:30 am came. The rain started to drift slowly. When I checked my mother, she fell asleep sitting tired from crying, I guess. I sat beside my sleeping brothers.
When I looked at my mother, she was startled when someone called her.
“Dang! Dang! Can you open the door? Are you still awake?,” MY FATHER IS FINALLY HOME!
My mother immediately stood straight and went to unlock the door. She hugged my father, tears still falling from her eyes.
“Alhamdulillah, you’re home!” My mother said. When I glanced at my father, his clothes were dripping wet, and himself as well.
“Stop worrying Dang, I am already home.” My father said to my mother lovingly, my mother finally was able to breathe fine.
My father washed up while my mother went to heat up water so that my father could drink black coffee.
I laid beside my brothers to give them time to talk to each other, but I still did not sleep. I listened to their conversation while laying down with my brothers.
“Dang, what tool you so long it’s almost morning? I was so worried,” my mother said as she sat beside my father and handed my father his coffee.
“That’s is so, Dang. I met someone at the sea,” my father started his story. “When the waves started to get stronger and I was still not able to catch any fish, I decided to come home already. But I saw a small girl floating in the sea. She is hooked up to a bamboo. I went near her to check and she is still alive. I helped her immediately and made her drink clean water. She started telling me what happened. According to her, she was pushed from the boat she was in. She wants me to take her to her island. I do not know the island she came from, but she said she knows how to get there. Even though the waves were strong Dang, I felt pitiful of the little girl. But something was not right with her, her skin was different.” My father sipped his black coffee, my mother still listened to his story carefully.
“You will not believe it Dang, her skin was like a pearl. White and reflects the light like a pearl. Her hair was different as well. Pitch black but very long. And the thing I noticed that was highly unusual was she dried up quickly when I helped her up to my small boat. Her clothes were unusual textile of white.” My father added to his story.
“Even though that kid was unusual, I still rowed my boat. She instructed me the direction. After half an hour of rowing my boat, I finally saw an Island. That island was small, Dang. But as I looked at it, there were a lot of people standing by the beach. The island was well-lit. Their clothes were all the same, their skin was all the same like the little girl I went with. As we docked, I was asked to come down by an old lady. She said she was the mother of the child I brought. Her daughter told her what happened. That she was pushed by her friends from the boat they were in, and that I was the one who helped her. Her mother came to me and touched my chest where my heart was and said “every hardship you are facing will be let loose by God, the cleanliness of your heart is how clean the blessing that is coming to you. Go home to your wife and children, don’t look back. You will arrive at your destination no matter what.” My mother listened intently to his story.
“I turned my back Dang, and pushed my small boat to the sea. I did what she told me, I did not look back. But I felt it, they disappeared as soon as I stepped on the seawater, the lights also disappeared, but I still did not look back. The waves became calm, and the rain stopped. I didn’t notice that I already arrived home” My father said as he finished his story about what happened to him at the sea.
I no longer heard what they were talking about as I fell asleep. My heart was already happy.
When morning came, I was awakened by a commotion below our stilt house. When I listened, my father was calling my mother.
“Dang! Dang! Come quickly, look at what is here in my small boat!” My father shouted to my mother. I saw my mother come down hurriedly to the stairs, while my father was standing, the seawater going up to his knees while he was looking at his small boat. I peeped from the spaces of our bamboo floor to see them.
“Allahu Akbar! Dang, those are pearls!” My mother answered. When I looked at my father’s small boat, it was indeed pearls, a lot of them! My father’s small boat was filled with pearls of different colors and sizes. Unbeknownst to me, it was the morning that would change the course of my family’s life. Blessing from Allah through a clean heart.
Those pearls changed how our lives went by. I was able to go to school in Jolo, along with my brothers. We were also able to buy a house- a cemented and well-furnished one in Jolo. My mother was able to help her colleagues whose job was to make and twist ropes. They already have a factory to produce them fast. Our home in Maimbung was rebuilt stronger. We no longer suffer from used-up groceries in the kitchen. My brothers and I are now able to eat three times a day. And the most important among all, my father no longer needs to sail the perilous and windy sea just to catch fish. My father was able to start a business not only at sea, but also on land, a halal business. My father was able to obtain big boats which he let our neighbors borrow so they could have a safe fishing trip. My father’s small boat was added with boats of bigger size, but my father still uses his small boat until now.
Now! That was the story I want to share with you while I eat patulakan here in this wooden port near our house in Maimbung. How about you? What is your story?