Our intertwined souls

Nelson Dino

Under the canopy of a star-filled sky, where the ocean whispered secrets to the moon, on the Sanga-Sanga Island where I live, I thought of our tradition of traversing the Sulu Sea from Tawi-Tawi to Sandakan. For generations, my family had traversed the azure expanse, our home a sturdy boat swaying with the rhythm of the waves. But fate, like the tides, is unpredictable. My decision to step onto solid ground was not born out of necessity but out of curiosity. The allure of the land, with its promises of steady work and new experiences, called to me like a siren’s song. One fateful morning, I bid farewell by waving my left hand with a green handkerchief to the endless horizon and setting foot on the sandy shores of a village called Tubig Sallang.

In my subconscious mind, I thought of looking for a job in Bongao town. In this unfamiliar world of concrete and hustle, my heart still yearned for the gentle sway of the sea. As I walked through the market in Bongao town, I met an old woman. She brought me home to work at her house. As I always heard, it pays a lot, enough for me to buy what I like, compared to just waiting for the fish captured from the sea for me to sell, as I used to do. The old lady introduced herself as Bu Titti, who owns a stall selling vegetables in the Bongao market.

“You can work with me.”
“Is the food free?”
“Yes. You only wash clothes.”
“How much do I get to be paid?”
“Stay in. 800 pesos. It is usually 500 pesos.”
Magsukul, Bu.”
“What’s your name?”
“Lina Raki. Just call me Lin.
“Bring this cellophane, Lin. Let’s go home.”

As days turned into weeks of work, I found solace in the rhythm of my new routine, with a meager fee but enough for me to keep for my needs, as the food was free. From dawn till dusk, I toiled tirelessly, weaving threads of cloth and scrubbing away stains, my hands becoming an extension of my determination. Amid the busyness of Bongao town, I discovered moments of quiet beauty. I learn new faces and stories daily, weaving stories of human connection and transcending language boundaries.

Amid this joyous laughter and warm companionship with Bu Titti, my heart still yearned for the beckoning call of the vast and ever-changing sea. During the tranquil hours of the night, I would quietly sneak away to the shore, feeling the salt-laden breeze gently caressing my tired soul. I would whisper my innermost secrets to the waves, my dreams and aspirations carried away by the ocean currents. Even though I had left the boat behind, the sea would forever course through my veins, an ever-present reminder of my true self and roots. My spirit remained as boundless as the ocean, flowing with the tides of change.

I thought the hearts of every woman in my community beat to the rhythm of the ocean, a timeless melody that has stood the test of time. As I spent more time in the lively town, I struggled with a decision torn between the familiarity of the sea and the excitement of a new home. Every morning, I woke up feeling longing, my heart pulling in two directions like a boat caught in a tempest. However, I discovered an inner strength amid my inner conflict.

“Home was more than just a physical space but a place defined by the bonds of love and resilience she carried,” I thought before getting up from bed. As time passed, I learned to embrace the duality of my existence, finding beauty in the ebb and flow of life’s currents. Ultimately, I discovered that home was not just a fixed destination but a voyage of the soul, where true treasures lived within myself, in the strength of my spirit and the depth of my heart.

As I continued my journey doing my work in the house of Bu Titti, I encountered new horizons and unfamiliar stories, each offering lessons and revelations. Along the way, I met my fellow tribes seeking the same direction, wanting to work in the town, and others simply seeking companionship. With each passing day, I learned to embrace the uncertainty of the voyage working in other people’s houses, knowing that I would always find my way within the ebb and flow of life. I saw the destination I sought and discovered the profound truth that the most incredible adventures led me back to myself. I reminisced about the scent of salt in the air as I sat at the bow of our boat, basking in the warmth of the setting sun.

I thought of returning to Tubig Sallang, living again underneath the canvas of the night sky, where I could share moments of quiet intimacy with my parents, where words became unnecessary, and only the language of touch and shared glances spoke volumes. Here, I can find the soft glow of moonlight. I found a sanctuary where the boundary between my thoughts blurred and time stood still. I thought my footsteps left imprints in the sand, marking the path of my journey from land back to the sea. With each gentle breeze, I laughed like the waves, carrying whispers of promises yet to unfold, like the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the clouds with vibrant hues of peach. At that moment, amid the serenade of the ocean’s lullaby, I knew Bu Titti’s love was not merely a destination but a timeless voyage bound by the magic of our intertwined souls.